Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field,
I'll meet you there
My work is grounded in Nonviolent Communication (NVC); a model that was created by Marshall B. Rosenberg. Whether I guide individuals, couples, groups or communities, non-violence is the base from which I operate and connect.
NVC has fundamentally changed my experience of life; how I connect with myself and the way I approach the people in my life, both personal and professional. It is a tool that enhances the quality of my communication with myself and others and deepens my connection with the world around me.
NVC brings me self acceptance, teaches me how I can allow all my feelings to be there, to trust in life, create inner clarity, acknowledge my pain, welcome my thoughts and have compassion for myself. It connects me to the magical world of needs underneath each feeling and thought.
NVC helps me to speak from my heart and express myself authentically. To take care of my needs and the needs of others at the same time. To listen empathically and hear what people are trying to tell me. It is a process that follows the pace of life, allows silence to do the work and holds space for all that is alive in each of us. Integrating NVC is a continuous process for me; a lifelong learning.
I am continuously studying NVC with different teachers from all over the world. Right now I am walking the path of becoming a certified trainer. NVC teachers that I am deeply grateful for are (among others) Yoram Mosenzon and Miki Kashtan. I love the different flavours that NVC teachers bring, that meet different needs that live in me. I love exploring the application of the principles and tools of Nonviolent Communication in different areas of life. I feel deeply grateful for the subtleties of this simple and profound practice that I discover every day.
I have a wide network of people all over the world who just like me intent to work from the intention of non-violence. They form support groups around empathy, mourning, celebrations, purpose and core nonviolence commitments, which I regularly join. They meet a big part of my need for self-care. I have a dream for every person on this planet to have a circle of people for support.
If you want to read more about NVC, I recommend you to visit the website of the Center for Nonviolent Communication.
NVC consciousness (the spirituality of Nonviolent Communication)
Spirituality for me means being connected to my spirit, to my soul, to my authentic self and to the life energy that moves through me. NVC consciousness for me means being connected to my needs as well as taking into account the needs of others in each moment as they come. I see needs as the way life shows up inside of us.
In my experience spirituality was in my life long before I was aware of the fact that people call this spirituality. The way I experienced life as a child. To be connected to that child, intuitive, creative, with ease and flow, honest and compassionate, for me, is the purest form of spirituality. NVC supports me to give words to and navigate this experience.
On this website, you will read that my work is "grounded in empathy". I would like to elaborate on this a little more. To me, empathy is the purest form of listening. A way of listening that makes me feel safe and at ease, that meets my needs for understanding and presence. The Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being:
“The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing. The hearing of the understanding is another. But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.” (from the book "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life", Marshall Rosenberg)
In my work, I intend to stay in a place of empathy. When I think other practices are beneficial for the purpose of our getting together (for example giving feedback, explaining, giving advise or using tools that can support you) I double-check with you before we enter that other space. When we decide on this I want to be aware that I am not empathising and that we can both choose to step back into the safety of empathic listening. This way I aim to create a safe space.
The certification path
In 2020 I started walking the path towards certification at the Center for Nonviolent Communication with Sylvia Haskvitz (who is one of the first trainers certified by Marshal) by my side as my assessor. I imagine the difference between teaching NVC as a certified trainer, and teaching it as a non-certified trainer is not different. I do have the idea that walking the path of certification and becoming a certified trainer will support me in ways that will add value and depth to my teachings.
I see my life as continuous self-exploration and learning. And want this exploration and learning to be grounded in NVC. I want to weave NVC into my fabric, into my system, into my creations, into my expression and into all that I bring into the world. I see this path as an intention to do so.
I want to stay connected to the teachings of Marshal in the purest form. My main teacher, Yoram Mosenzon, is a great inspiration for me, as for me he is teaching the purest flavour I have experienced. I want to bring this pure flavour into what I bring into the world. And I want to continuously check with myself and remember this.
I see this path as my commitment to nonviolence. I am weekly engaging with the core nonviolent commitments (Miki Kashtan) in a study group and I feel inspired to continue this path and find out what those commitments mean to me and how I want to hold them while stepping forward.
I think it is of great support to be part of a community of people who are committed to walking the path of Nonviolent Communication. Being part of this community is an opportunity for me to reach out for support around teaching, exchange of experiences, to discuss feedback, ask for feedback and to be inspired by seeing others walk the path.