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  • Tamara Catharina

Missed 〇 Nothing there

“We went to get the eleven-week ultrasound. And the first thing we saw was that there was just nothing there. It was just a black hole on the screen. She showed me that there was this amniotic sac, but she couldn’t find anything in it, so she checked me vaginally. But there was nothing there. She told me that the fruit probably des quite a while ago and that’s why we couldn’t see it anymore. But it seems like my amniotic sac is still growing and my body just didn’t recognise yet that the pregnancy stopped”

In medical terms, this is called a missed abortion. The pregnancy ends, but the body doesn’t release yet. I never heard of this before. I felt confused. ‘Why did my body not understand this?’. It was the beginning of an unknown, intense and deeply transformational journey.

* Missed is the name of the film I made about my pregnancy loss in 2020. The film is available for free on YouTube:


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