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  • Tamara Catharina

Pregnancy Notes 〇 Nightmare (11wk 1d)

I’ve had a frightening dream last night. About my pregnancy ending early. I saw myself sitting with a tiny little body in my hands, about the size of a mango. I feel confused and anxious. Last year before I lost my pregnancy I had dreams that were showing me blood. I understood from it that my body was trying to tell me something. But now, while going through another layer of processing this experience and feeling fear around losing my pregnancy again, I am unsure whether this is a message of reality or my subconscious speaking. I want to forget about it. Ignore it. I want to receive it as my fear speaking. Rather than a signal of something that is off. I’m unsure how to be with it. I might just let it do what it has to do by itself, without trying to understand. That feels like the best way for me in this moment.

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